Warriors of Virtue
The Tao of Latex Kangaroos
DVD Release

And so we begin our story. A young disabled boy befriended by a Chinese cook/ Kung Fu Master is swept away to another world, where he learns the power of the Tao with the help of five mystical warriors who are fighting to save their world from a power-hungry madman named Komodo. On the surface, it seems like a bad knock-off, but if you realize what it really is you start to see something in it. Unfortunately, just like any good Zen koan the good and the bad are so intertwined it can be hard to separate them.

Let's get the one glaring odd point handled first. Our titular Warriors of Virtue are humaform kangaroos who are imbued with the power of the five elements. That's right, I said kangaroos. I don't know who decided to use something that hasn't been seen in China since at least the Cretaceous period as the avatars of the five rings of the Taoist philosophy, but they did. It works though. Maybe because it's so bloody weird. Or maybe because I've had enough time between this film and the Ninja Turtles that my first thought wasn't, "Oh Lord, not another rubber suit!" The actors do a creditable job of moving and fighting, and use their tails as if they are part of them. They aren't meant to look much at all like real kangaroos except for the tails and ears. Their faces are very human, and they aren't all that hairy. They do kick major butt, I have to say. The WireFu is really well done, and the cinematographer helped a lot. You don't have to suspend belief as much as you might think when you watch them fight. It's when they quit fighting that it can get a bit hard to swallow. The state of the art for puppeteering at the time was just not up to today's standards, but the actors do a lot with mime and posture.

The cast list will surprise you. Doug Jones (Yee - Element of Metal) was seen just recently as the actor in the suit for Abraham Sapien in "Hellboy". Chao Li Chi, our wise old Master Chung, is a respected character actor that's appeared all over movies and TV since the 70's, usually as a wise old Chinese guy. Another person you will know you've seen and heard somewhere before is Tom Towles (General Grillo). You have, as a character actor in over 50 film and TV appearances. Marley Shelton (Elysia) is currently working across from Josh Hartnett in the film "Sin City". Our young lead does a good job of tugging at your heartstrings and your urge to smack him by turns. He's very much of the cute, precocious type. Think Ralph Machio before he got tall and you know what I mean.

Our bad guy, Komodo, stole the show in a lot of ways. He was an interesting study of what a talented actor can do with both hands metaphorically tied behind his back. You will have to think a long time before you realize where you've seen him before. His name is Angus MacFayden, and you know him better as Robert the Bruce in Braveheart. But we are far away from those gritty fields. Here he was made up like Duran Duran, dressed like a dark Poirot clown, and was spouting Zen koans in a weird sing-song as orders to his minions. He was deliciously evil and vulnerable at the same time. He managed to carry off the viscous killings, wanton evil, the over-the-top Fu Manchu posturing, and even the redeemed man at the end. Creepy but affecting performance.

Despite very, uh, optical-looking effects it all works. I thought when I first saw this film that the dark, grainy aspect of it was because of a really heinous VHS transfer. Watching it on DVD, I can see more clearly that a lot of it was intended to be dark and indistinct. The fight scenes aren't the crystal clear slow-mo Matrix style stuff, but a frenetic flash of motion and blowing debris. This is in part to help with the illusion of the fighting, I'm sure, but I think it also makes for a strong stylistic choice that feels almost like an anime film. Despite what had to be a very low budget indeed it gives a convincing illusion.

The only extra on the disk is the trailer, which just serves to underscore how badly this film was marketed. They were shooting in the Ninja Turtles barrell, and the fish there were already pretty picked over. It is much more. This film has more actual philosophy than any other ten WireFu spectacles. That sets it head and shoulders above them. But it is it's most vulnerable point, too. If you're looking for a mindless Fu-fest, you're barking up the wrong tree. If you're looking for a subtle delicate dance like Crouching Tiger, you're on the wrong end of the forest entirely. If you want to see a time-honored story with some new twists and get a little education in the practical application of Taoist philosophy, settle in and enjoy yourself.

Kid Factor: Despite the marketing, you are gonna have a WHOLE lot of questions from any short people. Heck, a lot of it was incomprehensible to me until I got out some books and did some looking up. Also, there are a lot of mature concepts. Our hero does not get through this un-scathed - he gets hurt. There are deaths and jealousy and all sorts of darknesses. I would go with the rating, and watch it with them.

Did you miss the 10 minute Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban bit on TV?

Well, if you did you're in luck. Thanks to the gang over on aintitcoolnews.com, we've got a link to watch it online.

This should ratchet up the Potter-mania at my house just in time for June 4th.